The Final Word; A Letter to Agatha Christie and David Suchet

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                                                           ~The Final Word~

                             {An Open Letter to Agatha Christie and

David Suchet}

Cover for the book Suchet SHOULD have written!

Well hello, Agatha!

      Yes, I’m well aware that you're dead and I 'm smiling to myself
 as I write this.  First, because this does seem an odd thing to do. Mainly, though, I’m
 writing this letter is the ultimate 'IN YOUR FACE'! You've had it coming for quite some time.

   Additionally, I’m also writing this antagonistic epistle to your most devoted ‘parrot’, David Suchet who, without a moment’s hesitation, (or even thought, for that matter!) recites your words as if they’re Biblical cannon.   I’m glad he’s alive and can read what I have to say to both of you.  If I had to be completely honest, I’d say I was writing this letter to Mr. Suchet, as I rail at  each of you ! Since Mr. Suchet shares your malevolent attitude about Poirot, then it’s only fitting that he be told off as well as you.  

    My fan-fiction project, 'The Execution of Agatha Christie' is in the final editing phase.  Of course, each story has its own title, but the main title will be a mystery to some, even as it antagonizes your devoted followers. Either way, it will get people's attention.   This is as it needs to be, because of what you started.  However, it may surprise you to learn that this is not necessarily as I wish.

   I TRUSTED  YOU, Mr. Suchet, as I wish I could have trusted Agatha. Tragically, it turns out, I can’t trust either of you. WHY should I (or ANY reader) waste the emotional investment of reading time (the money is almost secondary) on an author and actor who treated a character with such poisonous contempt? I don’t get it! I do NOT understand!   What DID Hercule Poirot do to you, Mr. Suchet, to deserve your disdain? Do you have a personal reason for your hatred of the Belgian detective or are you just parroting your beloved Agatha?  I fantasize about getting in-your-face and demanding to know why. Why didn’t you just listen to your brother and NOT bother with the character you and Agatha wished didn’t exist?  In truth, I agree with you and Agatha, albeit, NOT for your reasons, whatever they might be.  The pair of you used Poirot to up your career game and financial ends.  Passed that, neither of you could give a damn about Hercule Poirot   

 

    It’s for the above-mentioned reason, Mr. Suchet, that Belgian detective Hercule Poirot was better off NOT existing.  I went so far as to make that happen for Agatha in the title story.  Your part in Poirot’s end comes in the last story in this project.  I’ll let you read it for yourself.  By way of a hint, you will, no doubt, be delighted to learn that your villain collaborates with Agatha’s fictional self, (aka Ariadne Oliver)  to get the deed done.  

     As to the reasons for Christie’s loathing of Poirot, I have one main theory,  which has a lot to do with the foundational source material of Poirot (man and story structure).  Simply put; Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes.  Christie SOOOO wished Holmes had been hers and 'created'  a character very close to who she wanted Poirot to be. 

    In Appointment with Death (movie, 2008) a woman named Lady Boynton is shown to be abusing her four adopted kids, simply because they weren't hers.  Christie HATED Poirot for the same reason.  He wasn't truly hers and in her gut of guts, she knew it, whatever ARROGANT claims she made to the contrary.  I won’t ask why you despised the detective, Suchet. Whatever Christie’s hostilities were, against Poirot were, you seemed content to go along with them. 

   In addition, Poirot's key personality traits, such as his pride in his career achievements, as well as his penchant for order and method come from Holmes. Common Points between Holmes/Poirot  Christie wanted Holmes and took out her frustration for the unfulfilled wish on the re-designed Holmes, rather than simply appreciating that she was able to get away with such brassy plagiarism unpunished.  It's not every day a newbie (which is what Christie was at the time) can steal off an established author.  At the end of the day, though, Christie despised Poirot because he was a re-modelled Holmes but he wasn’t HOLMES. 

    Like Lady Boynton’s abused of children who weren’t hers, Poirot was maligned for NOT being the character she wanted.

 

                                                                      

        "Why, oh WHY did I Ever create that DETESTABLE, bombastic Creature?" Christie about Poirot. 

                                                                     

      As bad, as unspeakably VILE as Christie was, to make such a VICIOUS, uncalled-for statement, about a character, who was loved by readers, it was AS BAD, if not WORSE, to read that same vitriol in the book of the ACTOR, who Poirot fans trusted with that character!  To this Poirot fan, who'd ditched Christie novels in favor of the series, your WILLINGNESS to quote that damnable diatribe was nothing shy of a kick in the stomach and a spit in the face.

    Adding injury to insult, you also said, on a British daytime talk show, that you would be willing to play Poirot again, "ONLY if AGATHA wrote the story." KNOWING full well her SEETHING ANIIMOSITY for Poirot, David Suchet, you would have ZERO problem playing the disdained detective on the condition that Poirot's foremost enemy was at the helm!  

  Well, there are POIROT fans, and I count myself among them, who have written better stories for the character than Christie ever cared to create!  I can't speak for other fans' motivation, Mr. Suchet,  but I know what mine was. I gave Hercule  Poirot the love story Christie deprived him of.  I also let him have a family because .... well, why not? 

   For all the countless times I've repeated myself in these blog posts, the one thing I honest-to-God want to do is face you down! In betraying Poirot, you stabbed his fan base in the back.  Paying tribute to Christie meant slamming the character she hated. What puzzles me, Mr. Suchet, is your abject fawning over this ...arrogant, malevolent glory-whore for 'creating' a character both you and Agatha wish never existed. Again, I don't get it. If you hold the same disdain for Poirot that Christie had,  why praise her for creating him? 

  But, since we're on the subject of  'detestable creatures',  I know an actor who treated his villain character with much more appreciation than you have for Poirot. 

                                                      

  In 1974, Paul Williams played a character named SWAN, in the movie Phantom of the Paradise.  It is relevant to note that the character in said movie was a record producer who thieves the life’s work off young composer, Winslow Leach.

    To the befuddled amazement of the entire cast of that film, Winnipeg Canada has embraced Phantom of the Paradise, which has gone on to inspire a documentary called Phantom of Winnipeg, 45 years after the movie was released.  For his part, Paul Williams appreciates Swan’s substantial contribution to his acting career.   For an established songwriter to play the guy who steals the music is an impressive acting debut. The point is, Mr. Williams thanks the character who gave him his start.  As a person, Swan was a total jerk!  (understatement!)  He was sadistic, warped and nasty when he was out to get what he wanted.  No songwriter wants to get within thieving distance of a guy like Swan.  On the other hand, as character roles go, he was gold and Paul Williams has always valued the part that little scuzz-wad had to play in  jump-starting his acting career.

    NOW, contrast Paul’s gratitude for Swan’s contribution to his career to your TOXIC ingratitude for Poirot. What makes the Belgian sleuth LESS entitled to respect than a despotic record producer who reduces an aspiring songwriter’s life to a living hell?!?!

    I eagerly await your explanation.

                       

Whose Side Are You On?! {christie vs. Poirot}

As soon as you have to ask or answer the following question  ("Whose side are you on:  Character's  or author's ?")  you've already lost.  Simply because that question should NEVER, EVER have to be asked in this context!

You tell me! 

Is this man DETESTABLE? 

(Deserving INTENSE DISLIKE/ HATE)?

   If an author is not squarely in his or her character's corner,  the reader's best course of action is to ditch that dead-beat hack for an author  who genuinely CARES about her characters and readers. Would to God I had that sense! 

    Learn from my mistake, people!  If you've begun reading Poirot stories, and discovered christie's animosity against him, RUN the other way!  Find a storyteller worthy of your time and hard-earned money.

    Becoming a novelist is not a 'day job' you find
in the newspaper classified ads.

I WISH!!! 

 
     Storytelling is something a person has to want to do, and, hopefully, with the right motive.  If you have the creative talent you desire to share with the world, just because you enjoy telling stories, then THANK YOU!  Much appreciated!

   I've been blessed to find some amazing writers in the last few years.  Men and women who have their own perspective on life and age old tales.  Others who get a wild kick out of writing for villains.  Those are my favorites. 
   An author who can appreciate the contribution of a hyper-psychotic fan girl,  or the most evil world leader we'll ever know;  these writers have FUN telling their stories.  They get up in the morning,  looking forward to finding out where their stories will take them .  Okay, so it's not always so easy.  Life happens. Then again, when it's good, yaaay! 

   On the other hand, if an author wakes up, treating the prospect of a day of writing with the wish that they were doing ANYTHING else,  then perhaps that's what they should have done..... ANYTHING ELSE!

   This is particularly true when the discontented author 'creates' a character and story more to compete with the biggest name in the literary game than to tell her own stories for the genuine love of it.  She would loathe the character she had because he wasn't the one she wanted. That ingratitude found vent in her journals, which were published.

    I couldn't tell you if any readers turned against christie because of her betrayal, but I sincerely hope they did. 

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   Note:  If you are reading this blog as a former christie fan ,  {who dropped her because of her maligning of Poirot} , I would VERY MUCH look forward to hearing from you!  

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    Anywho,  I had two of her novels (Murder on the Orient Express and Curtain) . Both of said books have long since been blue-binned.  If the literary gods have a sense of humor at all,  said books have since been recycled into something more beneficial to humanity. Like TOILET PAPER.  🚽🧻️💩 Wouldn't that be a statement to Agatha Almighty?

 
"They Say you're 
supposed to speak Good of the Dead...."   

   Like that's going to happen.  No.  In case you haven't figured it out yet, I am NOT an agatha christie fan. I resent the hell out of her, in fact! Because of her poisonous animosity against Poirot,  I never had the opportunity to love the stories because of the rancor she hardly hid in the stories;  making a point of insisting how much Poirot thought of himself! 

   HA!  Considering how much of Poirot's source material came from Sherlock Holmes,  christie has NO place to talk about Poirot's so called conceit. Because when it came to patting her own back, agatha bested Poirot by a country mile! 
   The difference is, minus some PRIDE in his skills and career accomplishments, at least Poirot gave a damn about someone else beside himself.  His motivation was wanting to solve the case, both for his client and, as it applied, for the good of the community. 

  Contrast Poirot's motivations with christie's wanting to up her own career game, which, when you get down to cases, was the reason Poirot existed at all;  christie's obsession with, at least, MATCHING A.C. Doyle's Sherlock Holmes, and let's face it, Holmes was hardly modest about his career accomplishments. So what was christie pissing about?  Perhaps she should have plagiarized a more modest character?  OR, perhaps she could have given half a rip about the character she stole  and focused on telling stories for the enjoyment it instead of worrying about how this Belgian Sherlock Holmes (literally) was going to serve her. 

   So, remind me again. WHY am I supposed to respect an 'author'  who plagiarized another novelist's source material, LIED to readers about it and then proceed to treat the end result of her selfish actions like a child she was forced to carry to term. 
WHAT did Poirot do, to deserve such hatred?  He didn't ask to be 'created'  from an illegal act.  Ironic, isn't it?


    Another point I've reiterated a few times is how much PITY and COMPASSION I have for Hercule Poirot.  I have NEVER felt sorrier for another fictional character!  Other characters have faced hardships because of the circumstances of their lives.   Events IN the story.   Oliver Twist, for example, faced TOO many tribulations for a  what..10 year old child.  That wasn't because Charles Dickens hated orphans.  Rather, he wanted to call attention to their plight, so he had to make Oliver's story real.  On the other hand, Mr. Dickens also had the power to make a positive difference and he did.  He gave Oliver a home, at last, with family and friends.  Heck, Dickens even cut Charlie Bates a break and let him leave his life of crime for honest work.   By the end of the book, he owned his own farm.

  See, authors have the power to do good, if they care more about the story and the lives of the people in those stories, than they care about making a name for themselves. 

   Hercule, Poirot, sadly, didn't have an author to care about him.  To christie, he was a means to an end. Nothing more.  So, as far as that goes,  readers would do well to find an author who invests in their character(s)  because that author genuinely gives a damn.  Cut christie loose.   She's not worth a reader's time.  Most definitely, she isn't worth THIS reader's time. 

    This reader is standing up for the character.  I don't give a fat....DUCK what that ARROGANT, MALEVOLENT GLORY WHORE had to say about him, Poirot deserved a love story. So, aided by the screenwriter(s) for The Chocolate Box,  I let Poirot and Virginie have their fairy tale romance, with all the joy and tragedy life sends. 

     To answer the question at the top of this page, I'm on Poirot's side.